Areas of Compatibility in Romantic Relationship

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It’s not true that one’s character is shown in one’s face. If it’s angelic and beautiful, then he or she is Mr. Or Ms. X, the long-lost soul mate or destined partner in life! Social science research has shown that there is no dependable association between facial features and personality traits. A person may look meek, soft-spoken, wholesome, and with sympathetic eyes, but may turn out to be abusive, violent and indecent in real life after a long acquaintance with him or her. Thus, a person cannot immediately identify his or her right partner in life through facial or physical features during the first encounter or first date despite the strong feeling of romantic attraction or “love at first sight”.

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Moreover, a person who is infatuated is usually blinded with romantic passion or intense feeling of attraction for his or her partner that he or she tends to neglect to know his or her true character and personality. Just enjoying the current bliss of falling in love without a serious effort to know the real character of one’s partner is a dangerous attitude, especially if the person intends to find his or her true love and enter into marriage. Relying merely on the attractive looks of one’s partner and intense romantic feeling for him or her can be deceiving.  Many marriage counselors would say that people in love could not really know the real person or character of their partners unless they live together constantly in a conjugal home for at least five years in marriage. Knowing the real person of one’s romantic partner requires time, effort, and scientific strategies to know the real person behind the smiling and loving face!

Explore first whether there are strong signs that you’re compatible with your partner in the following areas:

Cultural Orientation. Check if your suitor or partner grew up in a culture similar to yours. Culture is a way of life in terms of beliefs, values, practices, etc. There is indeed a big cultural difference if an Asian marries an American. Asians, for instance, value more loyalty to their relatives and local communities than Americans who prioritize individual rights. Differences in cultural upbringing can cause regular conflicts between partners in terms of taste, preferences, beliefs, and some practices. Marriage is cross-cultural, so one partner needs to adjust to the cultural uniqueness of the other to preserve the marital commitment.

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Religion. This is another big factor to consider if you and your partner wish to enter into marriage. There are religions or churches which do not allow mixed marriage. Thus one partner is forced to convert to their partner’s religion. Differences in religious beliefs and practices can also divide one’s family. There is one couple in the Philippines where the father belongs to a Christian church while the mother is a Catholic. Every Sunday, the family is divided. Two children go with the father, while the three others join their mother to attend the Mass.

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Social Class. Differences in social class standing can cause serious conflicts in a couple’s relationship. Society classifies people according to the amount of their wealth or property, thus the rich belong to the upper class, the professionals as the middle class, and poor as the working class. Each social class has its own lifestyle, beliefs, and behavior. Rich people think and behave differently compared to the poor. Thus, the advice of many behavioral scientists and counselors is for people to marry their own class to minimize conflicts in a romantic or marital relationship. The first to oppose in a relationship that involves a rich guy and a poor lady is usually the parents and relatives. It is normal for them to think that the poor person wants to marry their rich son or relative because of the wealth s/he might inherit.

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